People have a lot of preconceived notions about boudoir photography. Things like who might have one, how that person might be, the reason one might have one, etc. Many women are curious about it, but not many believe it’s for them. Well, I’m here to tell you that boudoir is for everyone! Here are the top 4 reasons why people have felt that a boudoir session is totally not for them, and why they are wrong (if I don’t say so myself) ;)
1. “I would love to do a boudoir session! I just have to lose these last 15 pounds first…”
First of all, I guarantee that you don’t really need to lose 15 pounds. And if you actually do, Girl (not to get too real on you), but how long have you been working on losing those last 15 pounds for?! I have been saying that I was going to start working out really hard and losing the cellulite on my legs since the eighth grade, no joke (it’s still there and I’m turning 40 this year). Let’s be honest, those “last 15” are less of an actual weight loss goal and more of an excuse not to put yourself out there. It’s a self-esteem thing. Believe it or not, a boudoir shoot can actually help you overcome your insecurities. But here’s the thing about a good boudoir photographer: The single most important goal of the session is to create photos that are YOU. 15 pounds plus or minus don’t definite who you are, and they are not going to be the focus of your images. Good boudoir photographers know how to pose you, use shadows, light, and good editing to create photos that you can’t help but find yourself being (maybe surprisingly) in love with. Boudoir is for EVERY body. So seize the day! You can always come back for another photoshoot when you lose the 15 pounds.
2. “Boudoir is always so sexy and I’m THE LEAST SEXY PERSON I KNOW!”
Yes, boudoir photography is “sexy” but that’s because women — all women — are inherently sexy. Even you! Don’t feel like a sex goddess?? Totally fine! “Sexy” is about a lot more than pouty lips and bedroom eyes. I never want my clients to feel like they are dressing up as someone else, so we will celebrate what is sexy about you — quirks, laughter, silliness… it’s all sexy to me. Overall, my style is more “effortless cool girl, I just woke up like this” sexy without trying too hard. I once heard the phrase, “Imperfect works” and I think about that all the time in my art. I LOVE imperfections. They are what make you unique, and in this time of social media influencers, to me there’s nothing sexier than someone who isn’t like everyone else. So bring everything that is YOU to your shoot, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to be led by your photographer. Like I said in #1, I will pose you, direct you, and inspire you in such a way that you will be giving all of the facial expressions and body language we need for a badass shoot. You may not even realize it! All you need to do is be yourself, have an open mind and trust me and the rest will unfold beautifully!
3. “I don’t have any reason to have boudoir photos… it’s not like anyone but me is going to see them anyway.”
Great, who better to celebrate you than you?? Single, married, divorced, widowed, doesn’t matter. There’s many amazing occasions in which a boudoir photo shoot would be perfect for you… even if you never take home one photograph. I of course, encourage you to take lots of photographs and firmly believe that every woman should have a casually displayed photograph of themselves looking their very best somewhere in their home. Believe me when I tell you that you will feel amazing every time you see that photo. You can be fully dressed, you can be anonymous so no one else needs to know it’s you, but you will love it and be so happy to have it. As we get older, we as women tend to put our energy towards others more than ourselves — we have our jobs, our significant others, our families, and five million other responsibilities that we take care of before ourselves. People are demanding of our time and are needing our energy almost 24/7, so it’s no wonder that while we’re busy making it our business to be interested in everyone else, that we end up forgetting to make time to stay interested in ourselves! To me one of the the beautiful things about boudoir photography is that it allows you a unique experience to see yourself with curious eyes again, and that is an invaluable gift to a woman who hasn’t been engaged with herself for a long time now. So by all means, take the photos and keep them to yourself if you want to… though I feel pretty confident that once your get your photos, you’ll find that you won’t want to keep them to yourself!
4. “Boudoir photography seems like a waste of money.”
Sure, I get that… and so is going out to eat, going to concerts, buying yet another pair of nude pumps that look almost exactly like the other 5 pair of nude pumps you already have, and so is paying for a Spotify account when the free version will do just fine! New Yorkers of ALL people recognize the value in things that seem otherwise expensive, otherwise we wouldn’t live in New York (am I right?) I wrote a whole blog post about the value of a boudoir shoot — check it out here, and realize above all, YOU ARE WORTH IT. And of course, I realize a boudoir photoshoot is a luxury experience, so if it still feels out of reach, save for it the same way you would anything you want but feels out of reach. I’ve had clients book their session nearly a year in advance so we could arrange a payment plan (which we can) and so they could budget accordingly.
Boudoir photography is not only for people who have disposable income, have perfect bodies, have a significant other to gift it to, or for those that are super confident in front of a camera. It’s literally for everyone…. including you! Be prepared to have some fun and to realize that so many of our limitations are really only rooted in self-doubt. You are a brave and beautiful person. We all see that, but now it’s time for you to see it too!