woman sitting in chair - Boudoir photography myths
Recently, several of my clients have expressed that before finding my website, that they didn’t think a boudoir shoot was for them. The reasons why varied from thinking it was a cheesy thing to do, to feeling like they needed a special occasion to use their boudoir as album as a gift. These are 2 of the most common misconceptions about boudoir, but there are so many others! So today’s blog post explores some other misconceptions surrounding boudoir photography.
Boudoir Photography is inherently cheesy.
I’ll be honest - there IS a lot of cheesy boudoir photography out there. A lot of boudoir photography of the past bordered on “glamour shots” done in a mall, and some of it remains that way… but it need not be that way! At Brooklyn Boudoir, there are no trendy instagram-like filters or dated treatments added to your images. I shoot a lot of black and white, use shallow depth of field and keep the overall look classic and classy. I want you to look and feel like yourself on your best day, not like someone else or as if you are in costume. Years from now, when you look back on these photos, I want them to stand the test of time, as opposed to you wondering “what was I thinking?? (like I do when I remember my overly plucked eyebrows of the late ‘90s) If playing dress-up is what you are after, by all means, get it, girl! That’s just not what I do. There are a wide range of styles out there so it’s important you do your research and find a photographer who’s style is line with yours. To me, timeless, elegance is what it’s all about.
I need to lose weight before my boudoir session.
Just NO. No, you don't. Let me give you permission to celebrate who you are RIGHT NOW. You can do a session today, and then again (and again!). It’s actually great fun to see your progress through the years. There is beauty in milestones… and no one can define what a “milestone” is for you. You can and should celebrate your life every time you decide to. About to try for a baby? Pregnant? Recently had a baby? Turing 43? Survived homeschooling and COVID quarantine? It’s ALL reason to celebrate. Still think you’re too overweight? Well, I challenge you ask yourself, compared to what standard? Personal story: I thought I was “too curvy” at 110 pounds in high school - how crazy is that?! I look back at myself at that time and WISH I had appreciated my body. And appreciated my body at 26, AND appreciated m body at 35. Now at 41, I’m nowhere near 110 pounds, barely in shape given the way 2020 has gone and yet I’m thankful to my body for all it’s done for me. Also remember, a professional boudoir photographer will know how to light, pose and dress you to compliment your current physique and all the curves that go with it. That’s why so many of my clients explain, “I can’t believe that’s ME” at their reveal. I can help you see yourself in a different, more forgiving, and more accurate (!) light than you can see yourself. Let me help you shatter your negative self-talk and help you create new, positive feelings about your body and yourself. The time for that, is NOW.
I’m too old to do a boudoir session.
Right after thinking you’re not fit enough for a boudoir shoot is thinking you are not young enough for one. Excuse while I cough and say: Bullsh*t. Are you too old to feel special? Appreciated? Beautiful? I would love for all women to embrace who they are throughout life’s many beautiful stages. Sure, you may not be that same girl as you were in your early 20s. Now you're even better...you're a woman. At Brooklyn Boudoir, you get to choose how you’re styled in a way that makes sense to you. Today's woman is better than yesterday's woman, and you are BOTH beautiful. Onwards and upwards friends. Age is not our enemy.
I need to be getting married/having an anniversary coming up to gift my images
Sometimes, women need an excuse to do something nice for ourselves, or for choosing to spend money on ourselves. I get that. Your partner liking the byproduct of our session is surely a fun bonus to having a boudoir photo session. HOWEVER, this experience is for you and you alone. A boudoir shoot is a celebration to reacquaint with your feminine self, in whatever style you choose for it to be. You are more than a book, a framed picture or an album. As a woman, you are a work of art, and you deserve to feel that way. While your partner will surely apprecate the images, I suspect that it’s the WOMEN who will be opening up their albums time after time, feeling like a badass, and remembering the amazing day you had.
This isn’t “me” because I don’t see myself as sexy.
A boudoir shoot is an intimate portrait session. And so, it’s about intimacy, privacy and solitude. My job is to make you comfortable so you feel great in your own skin, and to draw you out to the person you know you are within. It’s YOUR version of sexy, not anyone else’s. So don’t worry about what you think you “need” to be, and just be you, and I promise you, that you will look and FEEL sexy as hell.
I’ll have to wear sexy lingerie for the session.
Not even a little. There are no rules that say a boudoir session is about lingerie (see misconception #1). Fun lingerie is great if it’s your thing. But if it isn’t, you’ll look like you’re playing dressup, feel uncomortable and frankly, look uncomfortable. Brooklyn Boudoir is about creating YOUR intimate definition of beauty in any way you like. That can be in a sweater, in a negligee, in a white sheet, or in a ball gown! It’s about intimacy with your sense of self… not your wardrobe. Don’t bring a thing to your session, and we can still accomplish a fantastic shoot. I challenge you! ;)
My pictures will end up on the Internet.
Absolutely not unless I have your express written consent. Client privacy is the number one priority for any reputable boudoir photographer. To us, your intimacy is a highly protected entity that we go to great lengths to secure, and share ONLY with your written permission. I love and respect all my clients, whether you choose to publish their images or not. It’s not required and has no affect on your experience or the outcome of your shoot.
I can shop around to get great deal for boudoir photography.
Ooh this is a hot topic. It’s true that a Brooklyn Boudoit shoot is an investment… an investment in YOURSELF. The blatant truth here is, you’ll get what you pay for. A woman’s private moments should never feel a “bargain.” A boudoir session can be a life-changing experience, and you’re worth it! A professional photographer's trade is very expensive to run; therefore a highly skilled, reputable boudoir photographer is almost never “cheap” and does not "deep discount". I value my clients and value the service I provide to them. It’s worth saving up for the photographer you want, rather than the cheapest one out there. Because while the right photographer for you may not be cheap, you’ll want a photographer who will go the furthest lengths to earn every penny, with gratitude and a pursuit of excellence. I would venture to say that $500 spent on something you feel “meh” about and never look back at again is actually way more expensive than a $5000 life changing experience that you LOVED, feel transformed by, feel proud of, and can’t wait to do again.
It’s arrogant to hang pictures of myself around the house.
Why? Is it arrogant to look in the mirror? To keep a journal? To meditate? Your portraits are no different. Years ago I read that every adult should have a casually placed photo of themselves looking their very best in their apartment. I’ve followed that advise since I got my first apartment, and let me tell you it feel great to see yourself looking fantastic every day. Your images won’t be lewd, they will be Art, and there is no shame being proud of yourself. My job is to help you love the woman you see on the wall as much as any other work of art that hangs in your home. There is NOTHING selfish about that.
My friends and family would not approve of me doing this.
Well, that’s too bad on one hand, but also it’s FINE, because you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for YOU. You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own. If your significant other does not appreciate the opportunity for you to feel special, confident and beautiful, that is their unfortunate choice. But you do not have to choose the same fate for yourself. You are your own person, with your own emotional needs. I respect the nature of your relationship but YOU as my client are my only priority and my person of concern. I grew up in a relateively conservative house and I was TERRIFIED of my family’s judgement when I decided to turn my business over to boudoir photography. I thought they would judge me, but instead they surprised me and have been completely supportive and interested in helping me build my business (ask my 70 year old uncle who kindly reminded me that I hadn’t blogged in a month, or my mom who recently joined instagram just so she could like my photos). So you never know. But, more importantly than that, you owe it to yourself to be true to yourself, in ALL things. Do it for you. Like so many other things in life, you’ll never regret doing it, but you likely will regret NOT doing it for the wrong reasons.
I’ll be a nervous wreck the whole time.
EVERYONE is nervous at first. Of course! This is natural - after all, most people have never been photographed professionally, much less in a state of undress. But trust me, after photographing hundreds of women, I can honetly tell you that the nerves fall away after about 10 minutes. You’ll get in the makeup chair, we’ll get to know each other, you’ll feel primped and pampered, and the shoot will be happening before you ever know it. I’m a professional, and I’m really good at making women feel comfortable. Your tension will seamlessly melt away and I’ll help you get into your groove. And if by chance, the tension lingers, I have lots of tricks to help you fake it til you make it.
My photographer is going to think my idea is crazy, but…
Ladies, I have seen and heard it all before. I want to hear what makes you tick, what your fanatasy shoot might be and will do my best to bring it to fruition. If I cannot accommodate your idea, I can certainly refer you to another photographer who may be able to. Your ideas about beauty and intimacy are yours and not up for my judgment.
This is a once in a lifetime experience.
Well, yes and no. You can do this once for your bucket list; Or, you can do it year after year, as many times as you’d like. Several of my clients come back every few years, and I promise you, each time we shoot together the images get more and more beautiful. I host several past client only events every year so that my past clients can get a little Brooklyn Boudoir fix from time to time as well to treat my VIPs to a little something special. Every time we shoot we capture something different andit just gets better and better. Even if you’ve shot with me 10 time before, each time you come to set it will feel like a once in a lifetime experience, that I promise you!
What other misconceptions do you think people have about boudoir photography? I’d love to hear and prove them wrong! ;)
xoxo, Stephanie
Curious about a boudoir shoot with me? Contact me and I can tell you more!