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Inside Our Marseille Boudoir Retreat: Sugar Cookies x Brooklyn Boudoir

Some trips stay with you long after you've unpacked. Marseille was one of them.

Every year, Sugar Cookies and Brooklyn Boudoir take a small group of women somewhere new for our Lingerie x Boudoir Getaway — a few days built around a private boudoir photography session, real lingerie, good wine and absolutely nowhere to rush off to. We've done this twice in Paris, and both times it was gorgeous (in that way Paris is always gorgeous). This year we wanted something different. Warmer. A little looser around the edges. A little more unexpected.

Marseille gave us exactly that.

Set against the Mediterranean, a handful of us spent several days together experiencing a side of the South of France that felt sensual and unhurried and entirely our own — not a version of France built for a postcard, but one built for a woman who's spent the last however-many years taking care of everyone except herself, and is finally taking a few days back.

What Actually Happens on a Brooklyn Boudoir Destination Retreat?

Every retreat, regardless of where we are, is built around one private boudoir session per guest — full hair and makeup, real one-on-one time in front of my camera, no rushing and no performing for anyone else's idea of what this is supposed to look like. Around that session, we build a few days of the kind of things you'd never quite get around to doing for yourself at home: a lingerie house you'd otherwise only shop online, a dinner where nobody's checking the time, a boat instead of a schedule. The photographs are the reason a lot of women say yes. The days around them are usually the reason they come back.

A Prelude in Provence

Before the retreat officially began, we escaped Marseille for an afternoon at Château La Coste in the Provençal countryside — part vineyard, part winery, part destination for contemporary art and architecture, and entirely the kind of place that makes you slow your walking pace without noticing you've done it.

We wandered the grounds, walked the vineyards, and, naturally, tasted the wines of Provence. Nobody's phone came out much. It wasn't officially day one of the retreat, but it did exactly what a good prelude should: it let everyone exhale before Marseille even started.

An Afternoon with Scandale

The retreat officially began with one of its most anticipated moments: a private invitation to the Marseille headquarters of Scandale, the brand formerly known as Maison Close.

Our relationship with Scandale has always gone deeper than simply carrying the collection at Sugar Cookies, which is exactly what made bringing our guests directly into their world feel like such a big deal. We were welcomed for a private presentation of the latest collections, with time to actually discover new pieces, try on favorites, and experience Scandale on its home turf. It was a rare look behind the doors of one of France's most storied lingerie houses, and it set the tone for everything that came after: this trip was going to be indulgent, and nobody needed to apologize for that.

Marseille, Through the Lens

At the heart of every retreat is the thing we're actually here for: the private boudoir sessions.

With professional hair and makeup done and the Mediterranean sitting quietly in the distance, each guest had her own uninterrupted time in front of my camera. Samantha of Rosa Ribelle joined us during the shoots with a selection of pieces from her own collection, which meant even more for our guests to play with as the afternoon unfolded — a different silhouette, a color someone swore she'd never wear, that kind of thing.

Somehow the only BTS I got that day

There's a moment in every single session I have never once gotten tired of watching: the lingerie, the styling and the setting all come together in front of the camera, and a piece someone genuinely didn't think she'd wear quietly becomes her favorite. The nerves go first. Then, eventually, so does any awareness that a camera is even in the room.

I'll say this plainly, because I think it's the whole point and it gets lost in prettier language: if you come on a retreat like this hoping it will turn you into someone else for a weekend, it won't. If you come to see the woman who's already there — the one you've maybe stopped looking at closely for a while — a little more clearly, it usually does exactly that. Nobody needs to feel confident walking in. Most women don't. The confidence tends to show up afterward, as a result of the days, not as a ticket required for entry.

Later, we made our way to Tuba Club, perched above the Mediterranean, for dinner as the evening light turned gold over the water. Dinner, wine, the sea, and nowhere else any of us needed to be.

Into the Calanques

For our final day, we traded the city for the water. A private catamaran carried us along the coast and into the Calanques, past dramatic limestone cliffs and secluded blue coves that look almost unreal in photos — and look even better in person, which is not something I say often about a place.

After several days together, it felt like exactly the right ending: swimming in the Mediterranean, sun on everyone's shoulders, easy conversation, and one last afternoon with nowhere to be but exactly where we were.

Somewhere In Between

Looking back, it would be easy to remember Marseille by the places — Château La Coste, Scandale, Tuba Club, the Calanques. Easy, and honestly, not entirely accurate.

Some of our favorite moments happened somewhere in between all of it. The long conversations that ran later than planned. A bottle opened a little earlier than usual, and nobody minding. New lingerie worn for the first time in front of people who felt, by day two, like they'd known each other for years. A woman stepping in front of the camera expecting to feel awkward and surprising herself instead. Strangers on day one who left as something closer to old friends.

That has quietly become my favorite part of doing these retreats — quieter, even, than the photographs themselves. Yes, this is about beautiful lingerie, an extraordinary destination and images you will keep forever. It is also, underneath all of that, about building a few days where indulgence doesn't need a reason attached to it, and the only real expectation is to enjoy where you are and who you're with. Sometimes that looks like dressing for dinner overlooking the Mediterranean. Sometimes it looks like buying the lingerie you talked yourself out of at home. And sometimes it just looks like an afternoon on a catamaran with a glass of rosé and absolutely nothing on the agenda.

I think a lot about how many of the women who join us have spent years being the capable one — the one who handles it, plans it, remembers everyone's everything — long before anyone thought to ask what she might actually want for herself. A retreat like this doesn't fix that. But for a few days, it does interrupt it. That's worth something on its own.

Until Next Time

To everyone who joined us in Marseille — thank you for trusting us with your time and for becoming part of another chapter I won't forget. And to Brooklyn Boudoir, Scandale, Rosa Ribelle, and everyone in Marseille who welcomed us and helped bring these few days to life: merci.

What began several years ago as an idea between Sugar Cookies and Brooklyn Boudoir has become something we look forward to more with every single trip, and we are already dreaming about the next one. Sugar Cookies x Brooklyn Boudoir returns in 2027 with an entirely new destination. We're keeping that one to ourselves for just a little while longer — but Marseille has certainly given it quite a lot to live up to.

We have a new destination in mind for 2027 and will be announcing it soon! If you're curious about joining us for the next one, or you'd rather start closer to home with a session in the Brooklyn studio, email me to get on the calendar.

xoxo, Stephanie

FAQs

What is the Sugar Cookies x Brooklyn Boudoir retreat? It's an annual destination trip co-hosted by lingerie boutique Sugar Cookies and Brooklyn Boudoir photographer Stephanie Bordas, combining private boudoir photography sessions with a small group of guests in a new city each year. Past retreats have taken place in Paris and, most recently, Marseille.

Do I need boudoir experience to join a retreat? No. Most guests arrive having never done a boudoir session before. Professional hair and makeup, styling support and one-on-one time with Stephanie behind the camera are built into every retreat.

Where is the next Sugar Cookies x Brooklyn Boudoir retreat? The 2027 retreat is confirmed for a new destination, announced soon. Email Stephanie to be notified when details and booking open.

Can I book a boudoir session with Stephanie without joining a retreat? Yes — Brooklyn Boudoir offers private sessions year-round out of the Brooklyn studio, for anyone who wants the experience closer to home.

Source: /marseille-boudoir-retreat-recap

Is Boudoir Photography Supposed to Feel Awkward?

Short answer:

A little unfamiliar at first? Yes. Painfully awkward, exposed, or like you’re doing something wrong the whole time? NO.

There’s a difference between new and bad, and boudoir photography tends to get mislabeled because people expect to feel confident before they start. That’s rarely how it actually works.

Let’s talk about what’s normal, what’s not, and what actually helps.

The Kind of “Awkward” That Is Normal

Most people don’t spend their free time being photographed in lingerie. So yes — the first few minutes can feel unfamiliar.

That usually looks like:

  • Not knowing where to put your hands

  • Feeling hyper-aware of your body at first

  • Needing a minute to settle into the space

This isn’t a personal failing. It’s just your nervous system clocking that you’re doing something new.

A well-run boudoir session accounts for this. It doesn’t expect you to walk in glowing with confidence and ready to perform.

The Kind of Awkward That’s a Red Flag

Here’s where it’s worth being honest.

If a boudoir session feels awkward because:

  • You don’t know what’s happening next

  • You feel rushed or pressured

  • You’re being asked to pose in ways that don’t feel like you

  • Your discomfort is brushed off or minimized

That’s not “normal nerves.” That’s a lack of guidance or attunement.

Awkwardness that lingers usually means something in the process isn’t working — not that you’re doing it wrong.

How Confidence Actually Shows Up (Hint: It’s Not Immediate)

Confidence in boudoir photography is often the result of the session, not the prerequisite.

It tends to build quietly, through:

  • Clear direction

  • Predictable pacing

  • Small successes early on

  • Feeling listened to

This is why sessions that start slower and simpler tend to produce stronger images. Once your body relaxes, expression follows.

What Helps Ease the Awkwardness

A few things that genuinely make a difference:

Clear Process

Knowing what’s going to happen — before you walk in — reduces unnecessary anxiety. When nothing feels mysterious, your brain can stand down a little.

Direction Without Force

Good direction doesn’t freeze you into shapes. It offers movement, suggestions, and room to adjust.

Conversation

Light chatting, occasional humor, and normal human interaction go a long way. Silence doesn’t automatically equal intimacy.

Respect for Your Cues

If something feels off, it’s noticed. If something feels good, we stay there longer. Your body gives feedback long before words do.

What You’re Not Supposed to Do

You are not expected to:

  • Know how to pose

  • Be confident the entire time

  • Push through discomfort to “get the shot”

  • Become a different version of yourself

If a session relies on any of those things, it’s set up backwards.

The Goal Isn’t to Eliminate Awkwardness

The goal isn’t to never feel awkward.

It’s to work with someone who knows how to guide you through that initial unfamiliarity without making it a big deal.

When that happens, the awkwardness usually passes quietly — replaced by focus, presence, and a sense of being held competently.

If You’re Wondering What the Experience Actually Looks Like

If it helps to see the full arc — from planning to finished images, this post walks through what actually happens during a boudoir photoshoot, step by step.

And if you’re still in research mode more generally, this overview of boudoir photography in NYC gives broader context around styles, pricing, and choosing the right photographer.

A boudoir session doesn’t need bravado.

It needs professionalism, pacing, and respect.

The rest tends to take care of itself.

xoxo, Stephanie

Walking the Walk: What Changed When I Stepped in Front of the Camera

Photo by Leo Brooklyn. Shot on film.

I recently found myself admitting something to a photographer friend that felt a little ironic, given what I do for a living: I hadn’t bought lingerie for myself in a long time.

She didn’t overthink it. She didn’t therapize it.
She just looked at me and said, “Let’s change that.”

The rules were simple. She would style me in lingerie of her choosing, and photograph me at my studio, in her style.

Now, I’ve been photographed many times before. Usually the work leans documentary, fine art, or portrait. This was different. This was classic boudoir — stockings, heels, the whole thing.

And yes, I was out of my comfort zone.

Wearing a bra by Pepper and garters by Dita Von Tease. Photo by Leo Brooklyn

When the lingerie arrived, I tried it on and immediately felt like I was wearing a costume. The mental image of a sausage — possibly a cooked ham — made an appearance. Not ideal.

But I was committed, so I folded everything back into the box, put those thoughts on a shelf, and went on with my life.

A few days before the shoot, I knew I had to try everything on again. I was dreading it. And then something interesting happened.

This time, instead of feeling like a cooked ham, I felt… kind of okay.

Nothing had changed physically. If anything, I was a few pounds heavier post-holidays. But mentally, I was in a different place. Calmer. More centered. Less interested in narrating my body to myself.

That shift mattered.

photo by Leo Brooklyn

On the day of the shoot, I had to give myself the same pep talk I give my clients. Even when you know that boudoir is about letting go of control, quieting the negative self-talk, and trusting the process — actually doing it is hard. Yes, even when you know all the tricks.

But it’s also important.

And the shoot itself? It was genuinely fun.

When I finally saw the photos a few weeks later, I braced myself. I assumed I wouldn’t like any of them. And of course, I did.

Had to do the classic Brooklyn Boudoir Floor pose. Photo by Leo Brooklyn

Here’s the real takeaway.

Nothing dramatic changed.
I wasn’t suddenly in the best shape of my life.
There was no transformation montage.

What changed was how I showed up.

I wasn’t negotiating with the camera.
I wasn’t trying to perform.
I trusted the person behind the lens and let myself be seen.

And that made all the difference.

Boudoir isn’t about upgrading how you look.
It’s about opting out of performance.

Still works.
Even when you know all the tricks.

Lingerie by Honey Birdette. Photo by Leo Brooklyn