Photo by Leo Brooklyn. Shot on film.
I recently found myself admitting something to a photographer friend that felt a little ironic, given what I do for a living: I hadn’t bought lingerie for myself in a long time.
She didn’t overthink it. She didn’t therapize it.
She just looked at me and said, “Let’s change that.”
The rules were simple. She would style me in lingerie of her choosing, and photograph me at my studio, in her style.
Now, I’ve been photographed many times before. Usually the work leans documentary, fine art, or portrait. This was different. This was classic boudoir — stockings, heels, the whole thing.
And yes, I was out of my comfort zone.
Wearing a bra by Pepper and garters by Dita Von Tease. Photo by Leo Brooklyn
When the lingerie arrived, I tried it on and immediately felt like I was wearing a costume. The mental image of a sausage — possibly a cooked ham — made an appearance. Not ideal.
But I was committed, so I folded everything back into the box, put those thoughts on a shelf, and went on with my life.
A few days before the shoot, I knew I had to try everything on again. I was dreading it. And then something interesting happened.
This time, instead of feeling like a cooked ham, I felt… kind of okay.
Nothing had changed physically. If anything, I was a few pounds heavier post-holidays. But mentally, I was in a different place. Calmer. More centered. Less interested in narrating my body to myself.
That shift mattered.
photo by Leo Brooklyn
On the day of the shoot, I had to give myself the same pep talk I give my clients. Even when you know that boudoir is about letting go of control, quieting the negative self-talk, and trusting the process — actually doing it is hard. Yes, even when you know all the tricks.
But it’s also important.
And the shoot itself? It was genuinely fun.
When I finally saw the photos a few weeks later, I braced myself. I assumed I wouldn’t like any of them. And of course, I did.
Had to do the classic Brooklyn Boudoir Floor pose. Photo by Leo Brooklyn
Here’s the real takeaway.
Nothing dramatic changed.
I wasn’t suddenly in the best shape of my life.
There was no transformation montage.
What changed was how I showed up.
I wasn’t negotiating with the camera.
I wasn’t trying to perform.
I trusted the person behind the lens and let myself be seen.
And that made all the difference.
Boudoir isn’t about upgrading how you look.
It’s about opting out of performance.
Still works.
Even when you know all the tricks.
Lingerie by Honey Birdette. Photo by Leo Brooklyn